the reason for my blog this this time at this hour [5.10 a.m] is because that i couldn't sleep.. at all.. i've been having insomnia this past few days.. and what causes this to happen? it was simply because i was thinking of too many things in my life lately..
maybe it is because the thought of someone my age or even younger can be successful in what they love to do makes me anxious to just sit and do nothing.. [nothing = to just enjoy my time before i went on a job hunt -which in my case i was recently eager to work in a restaurant-based field] <-- that was when i decided before i have all this thoughts..
i think my problem is that i'm the type of person you just cant rushed to make a decision.. especially when it involved my future and me in it.. i have conclude that:
- i am the kind of person who just love working.. no matter what kind of work it is.. i just realised this now.. this is because the thought of me doing some works that need to be submitted to someone that is important [or so] makes me excited.. some how.. heheheh..[except for house work. hahahah!! maybe because i'm living with my parents.. huhuhuuu~ ^^]
- i hate studying! especially when i am being forced too.. like school and such.. its like i have to study not because i want to its because i have to.. but studying on my own will i like.. its because i want to.. get the point?
so what i wanna say is that me hating interior designing is not true.. NOT TRUE! i somewhat like it.. heck its like what i have been thinking about my whole life.. now that i realised it.. everywhere i go all i think about is design.. of course when i was a kid i didn't know what was i thinking... but DESIGN is the only thing that i thought about alot... so i've decided to just work in an interior design firm for a few years.. to gain my knowledge and what not.. in the same time i could study about business and restaurants/culinary by myself.. there's alot of self study books sells out there in the world.. so since i am a smart kid i know i can juggle all this together in a few years preparing myself for my future which is what i really want to do in life.. which is:
- to open a coffee house.. >w
- to manage an interior design firm.. with my friends as a partner of course!
- maybe, open a boutique shop. with the style that i like.. hihi..
- and last TRAVELLING!!!!
this is all thanks to me being on my so-called holiday i guess.. my head was too wrapped up with me avoiding to continue my studies in interior design which my parents keep on insisting me.. and taking a wrong turn here and there.. and i was being rushed to make decisions right after whatever that's happening to me that it makes me or my head to be exact be in a very complicated situations that i cant think things clearly.. like i said before i am the type of person who cant be rushed to make a decisions.. i think too much.. and i cant avoid that habit of mine.. i think about things too much and into every details that i cant make such decision in such short short time.. forgive me... but that is just the habit that i myself cant throw it away.. its how i am.. i cant change that part of me.. so here i hope that whoever involves in this understands me now..now that i understands myself a bit more....
i guess my parents will be like "i thought that you hate id.. blah blah blah.." and so on.. but what can i do.. i was being pushed and rushed.. i can think well.. *sighs*
now that this is out of my chest.. i could go on a job hunting easily..[ not that getting a job is easy.. heheh.. i mean my mind here is at ease.. :)] no wonder i was having this feeling of "teragak agak" when i was just browsing through the jobs section in the papers.. i was considering about everything... i was making too many excuses to avoid me applying for jobs as a kitchen helper...heheheh.. :)
i guess all i need was just a break from everything and i do mean EVERYTHING for a while just to get my head straight.. ^w^
