O.M.G!

Two years passed and now its 2015! didn't blog a thing last year.. 

well here's my update : I am going through quater life crisis! toodles~ 

see you next year.. probably... XD

LISTEN-LISTEN-LISTEN, I SPEAK YOU LISTEN.

well its 2013... and i am writing my first blog of the year with the hot issues of the months... its LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN.. I SPEAK YOU LISTEN.... well ate first i dont really give a damn about this shit... but then... when everyone around me started to talk about this i began more and more curious...and thus today i just watched this video for the first time and here i have attached this video for the sake of references ans so this is what i have to say....

WARNING : THIS BLOG MAY SOUND VERY PERSONAL..... Xp

well first of all Sharifah Zohar never did answer Miss Bawani's questions... to me she answered none! all her so called answers were not related to any of the questions given. secondly i did not know that by shaking ones hand of a woman for that matter means that you are showing you respect to another person as a women?

and speaking of respect... i thought in school we were taught that we (no matter what age we are) should give respect to others first (no matte how old or young they are from us) before you aspect them to respect yourself... further more.. the respect that we shows to our elders (grandparents, parents, aunties, uncles or any one in our FAMILY) is because we know them we were raised to respect them especially.. but not so much to a stranger or someone you are not close with... for example if a leader is younger than his/her subordinates does that means that the older subordinates are free to disrespect their leader? NO! a leader is a leader no matter how old or young he/she is. and so does this video scenario.. you Sharifah Zohar have no respect for her at all! by pointing your finger to Miss Bawani's face and saying this Listen listen i speak you listen bullshit you my dear have shown a disrespect to her there... and plus you stop her from finishing what she has to say... and yet you wanted her to let you speak? and listen to your bullshit? another point of your disrespect was you moving away the mic from Miss Bawani... what's the matter? afraid that she would build up the courage to out spoken you when you speak?

Dear Sharifah Zohar, if you have nothing relevant in your mind to fight back what your opponent is saying that i advice that YOU should Listen first and let her speak. This girl came with full preparation and you came with empty handed.. and yet you still wanna talk rubbish... and now people make jokes using your rubbish talk...


and as i recalled.. Sharifah Zohar did mention that we should not compare Malaysia to other countries.. WHY THE HELL NOT??? you compared us HUMANS with ANIMALS? that is more ridiculous! of course you CAN compare Malaysia other countries if not how in the world could we strive to be a better country? even cats compete and compared with each other.. let alone humans... and when humans compete and compared with each others doesn't this means that automatically we would compared our countries with others.. why? because there are other humans in other countries that's why! sheesh!


okay... i have to say i agree with you about animal's rights and human rights... but my dear that has nothing to do with any of what Miss Bawani had said. All animals, insects, fishes all have problems... humans too... but you are not exactly talking about animal's rights are you? and as you might also know animals has their own way of solving their problems... the shark did not know how we human are complaining so much about them... we're on land they're in the sea... and the last time i check shark don't speak human.. therefore they do not understand us and this goes to other animals out there... okay forget about this.. i'm out of topic.

to the audiences... kenapa lah korang nih macam lalang?? aku hairan lah... when Miss Bawani was giving her speech/ her hak bersuara korang bukan main lagi sorak bagai... siap angguk angguk lagi.. kasi tepu tangan lagi... tapi bila this Sharifah Zohar said nonsense n bullshitting her hak bersuara korang sorak sorak jugak.... mana satu korang nih??? lalang sungguh... kalau tak paham maksud lalang di sini sila rujuk balik buku peribahasa zaman sekolah rendah dulu. sedih aku tgk korang... is it true that you all agree to as to what the government has given to you?? let me assure you that in few years time after you finish graduating n studying and struggling looking for jobs out there all of you well most will be super ungrateful to the government and you will complain about how you don't want to pay your ptptn back... or you would say paying this ptptn is very membebankan and so forth. trust me i've seen people like you... lalang.

well i'm not siding with anyone.. i'm just stating tha facts of what i see and hear in this video... if i misjudge or misunderstand anything then i'm sorry... but so far as i'm concern i am not touching any political issues here...

why am i just a girl?

hello! i guess its been awhile since my last blog... heheh... oh well lets get started with my rants as usual...

i'm a girl.. duh! but sometimes i wonder why am i a girl... i know its God's will and i was also the one who agreed to be born as a girl in this world... but sometimes i wonder why am i a girl?? what makes me agree to be born as a girl and not a boy?? why?? you see as a girl.. no matter how tough you may be or look or act... no matter what u do you will always have that soft heart... you will always have that soft spot for that one jerk... no matter how rough i act or how ignorant i am... with just one HELLO from him i will transform from a rock into a flower that is easily wilt n crushed! sometimes i wish i have the heart of a guy... so instead of me being used by them.. i would be the one using them instead.... wouldnt it be fair? well i guess not...

*sighs~*

i really hope i could not think about him anymore... just forget bout him... but somehow i just cant... why? why? why?? he's nothing.. he's not rich... handsome or hot... and plus he has a gilrfriend! then why? why he does all this things to me?? why would he make me fall for him.. he knows i love him... he knows i care... but that doesnt mean he could just use my love n care for him anytime he needs some....

*sighs~*

i really really want to know who am i to him? what am i to him? he may think that he what he does to me right now is nothing.... he could be just playing around using me... he could just treats me just like one of his sisters... but i dont think that way!!!! no matter how i try to fool myself that i'm just like a sister to him i just can't fool myself to that extend... i am still this girl... a stranger whom he met and be friended years ago...... no matter how hard i tell myself that he's just using me and taking me for granted... no matter how i forced myself to forget about him... no matter how much i try not to think about him.... with a single "Hai... how are you dear?~" he will always always wins! my heart... no matter how much i try not to melt.. no matter how hard trained it to be tough... it always melt.... just with those simple words.... DAMN!

now i feel like crying my heart out... why am i just a girl??!

*sighs~*

p/s: i know this may seems like nothing to any of you out there... but its just my rants... if u read all of this then thank you for your time reading my crappy blog... for those who thinks that i should worry over all those world problems.. well i do... i'm just not in the mood to rant any of it! ;p

life:studies:jobs:moeny:success

now.. first and foremost.. i would like to say happy 2012!! as you can see it's been a whole year since i last blogged.. didn't even blog a thing in 2011 at all! amazing huh! well i guess it was all twitter's fault and a part of tumblr's fault too...hee~ ;) well.. now that i've greeted the year in my blog lets get started with the title now shall we? =)

as you can see.. the topics in my title are somewhat related to each other.. according to my life.. i'm not sure how your life is like.. but this is how mine goes...

well it all started with life.. life as i know it is when we ware invented... we were once a two single cell organism combined into one.. wait! is a sperm and an ovum a single cell organism? oh well.. correct me if i'm wrong.. thank you~... and as the the process of becoming and embryo and then turn into a fetus.. then God the Almighty gave us a thing called Soul... and with that our soul developed through time where we also gain some feelings which i think is when we kicked and punched and spin around in our mummy's tummy... (now thinking back.. how awesome was that! i bet you'll never experienced that in real life again!) and a thing called personal traits where we get from both of our parents genetic... and so the right moment came and we were born and thus our life began on that very second... we started to breathe the first oxygen gas in our life and we cried for the first time then too... and as we grew we develop more things such as feelings, emotions, physical attraction and in my case a little big thing called FAT! ha ha ha! we are now what people always say the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve or should i say great great great great great and more great sons and daughters... ;) and then trough life we started to learn about things in which i love to call studies!

studies for me is a thing that i've been doing literally since i was born.. now why do i say that? well.. after months of being at home mom is going back to work.. but wait! who is going to take care of me then? i was only a few months old! oh no! well fret not my solder sister (well actually she's like a foster sister) she worked at a nursery/child care and so since both of my biological sister were also there to study kindy stuff... i was also being brought there just so that my foster sister would be able to take care of me.. so i could proudly say that i've been in school for my whole 23 years of living! now try and beat that! ha ha ha! well.. after the childcare then there's the kindergarten stuff... and after kindy there's primary school and secondary school then there's university... so total up all of my life i've been studying in a school for a total of 22 years! from there i discovered that i hate political history, i love english, maths, art, literature and science... and i also discover that i love to talk, sing and dance.. but then i'm not so good at it... i met new people and they became friends... some became close friends in ways you just cannot imagine and some are just friends where we still keep in touch.. thanks to a social network which is famously known as Facebook!... you could say that some love me, some need me, some i need more then they need me, some just used me, and some hates me.. well i guess no one can ever avoid being hate by someone i guess... hmmm... =/ from going to schools and a university i learned on how to cope with everyone with all types of personality... and when i mean all i really do mean all! especially the GIRLS! i tell you.. girls can be such a pain to be friends with... some back stabs you.. some gossips about you.. some just adores you so that they can use you and so much more! don't get me wrong i don't hate them... but somehow amazingly i could tolerate with all those nonsense and gets along with everyone... well different person have a different approach.. and i think that if there is someone out there been observing all of my moves i think he/she will know that my personality is different with each and everyone of the people i've met! but trust me.. i am being myself most of the time.. as much as i could with everyone! don't hate me now~ 0=) anyway, with studies i gain more knowledge and experience in life... and my motto have always been

"study for life not study for exams"

... so far in my school life i have never actually studied fully for my exams.. i guess that explains why my result was not up to standards.. but in the end i was able to further my studies in universities... it was a local U but who cares! then after finished my diploma of three years.. i realised that i have been wasting my time by doing something that i don't even like.... i had fun in Uni but just not the study part... well like what people say : what past is past.. so then i decided to take something that is not more than a hobby to me for my degree... but it took me a while to discovers that it is just not the kind of thing for me to study.. as you know.. people of my intelligence learned fast.. and things are getting bored for me during that time as the things that i studied was the things that i've known way before i entered my degree class... then what did i do? i called it quits.. oh well.. went back home.. took a break for a few months... get over with mt diploma graduation day and then.. the big things in life happens... i've got a job! yippie right? but not for me...

well as for jobs.. i've worked for a while before i entered my uni life... but then it was such a different job.. i worked as a kindy teacher for a few month before i entered uni life and i've had my practical for five months in my fifth semester of my studies... but the job that i got after graduation was an interior designer job.. wow! i think that is the expression of people when i told them what i was working as... well as excited as others are about my jobs i was not... i never like designs when i studied it so why would i be interested in the job? well.. it was my parents who kept on asking and asking and asking and asking me to worked as and ID.. well at least for a few month.. that's what they said.. but i know deep down they wanted me to just stick with the job until i'm old, married and lived with 15 children! well that's a bit exaggerating.. ha ha ha... but then knowing me.. i will never make my self stuck with that job.. so i went on job hunting online... actually there are some things that's going on in the company that makes me wanna move out... but i have no rights to tell it in here... so shhhh~ then after exactly 5 months and a half i moved to another company... also an interior design company but with a slightly bigger pay of only RM 200 difference than the previous one.... but life as we know it is unexpected.. at the new company i spent more time online with facebooking, twittering, and downloading songs and korean drama... then i realised that i was used to being in a hectic working environment before and so such free time makes me feel bored while working.. and sales was slow as the new company price was much higher than the previous company.. so i decided to left the company and took a break instead... well life was kind of a blur when i was working for both ID company for i spent almost 70% of my life at the office and thinking bout my work both designing and worrying about my clients like and dislike... and home was only a place for me to sleep and bath before i start another day working... that was what my life's all about at that time... work and client... and my brother always told me this "you are always working even on weekends! all you do is work and i barely even met you at home! you're so boring now~".... so then i realised that i have totally lost my life... so what was my break you're wondering? well it was me working as a kindergarten teacher.. again! at the same kindy i taught before only at a different branch.. well the pay was not much but it was okay i guess?... i spent most of my time wondering what i should do... should i further my study and get that degree? or should i just work for another few more years and then think about studies... as i started working at the kindy life was gradually coming back again... i was able to spent more time with my family and i know what was going on around the house... lets just say that i am back being a busy body again~ ;) during the time i worked as a kindy teacher i fell in love with the job.. i fell in love with the children and everything that i do there... but then i have also decided that i wanna continue my studies starting in that year too.. and this was the year 2011.... work was full of action at the kindy... a non-stop working action.. the only break would be the lunch break...so as i started my part time studies i realised that i cant focus on my studies and at that moment for me studying was much more important than work.. so i decided to stop... i miss the children of course! but i do not want to flunk my studies since i haven't get the hang of things... so then i quit yet another job... (just so you know i have never been on bad terms with anyone at any of the place that i've been working.. even with my bos.. ) but now after a while of studying i've got the hang of things.. and i think that i can juggle both work and study at the same time... so what do i do?? i started to hunt down jobs again.. but for now... its been 3 months since and i still have no luck..

well now.. here i am.. 23 years of living going to be 24 this year and i've been unemployed for 3 months which feels like a whole year for me and still searching for jobs.. part tie or full time... and i have money issues... why? coz i'm not working so i don't earn any money anymore! ha ha ha! thank God i'm still staying with my parents.. but i do feel guilty sometime whenever i asked for some money from them.. he he he... oh well... don't fret mom and dad! i will be successful one day and i'll repay every ringgit and every cent that i owe you when the day comes! ;)

p/s: do you think that my blog has no point? well.. they never do! =D

Appreciation.. ^^

Story of Appreciation

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. 

He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the last decision. 

The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score. 

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered "none". 

The director asked, " Was it your father who paid for your school fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees. 

The director asked, " Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother worked as clothes cleaner. The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect. 

The director asked, " Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me. 

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.* 

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the kid. 

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water. 

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future. 

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother. 

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time. 

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office. 

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: " Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?" 

The youth answered, " I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes' 

The Director asked, " please tell me your feelings." 

The youth said,

No. 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would not the successful me today.

No. 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done.

No. 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship. 

The director said, " This is what I am looking for to be my manager. 

I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired. 

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously. 

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?* 

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way. You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

: another story i've received in my mail..  =)

why burn the Quran? just something to share~ ^^

ON  BURNING  OF  QURAN 

Who is burning the Quran? A Christian priest? Ask a question, if I write the name of Jesus Christ on a piece of paper 29 times and give it to him to burn it, will he burn it? If I write the name of Moses on a piece of paper and give it to a Jew, will he burn it? What they intend to burn is the same.

In the Quran the name of Jesus Christ is mentioned with great Honour 29 times and the name of Moses with dignity 129 times, while the name of Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon all of them) is mentioned just 4 times. In addition all the 24 prophets mentioned in the Quran are there in the Bible. Make them aware that they are burning the names of Jesus Christ, Moses and all 24 prophets.

The problem is none of them have ever cared to read the Quran. My request to them is to read the Quran’s translation in their own language (easily available free in mosques and in Islamic Centers) and then decide whether burning the Quran is justified or not.

I may assure them that they will highly regret in their lives when at a later date they read it. All the allegations of immorality on Mother Mary, Jesus Christ and other prophets mentioned in different books have been very neatly refuted in the Quran. Mother Mary has been given the highest Honour amongst all the women of the World.

Read it you will be enlightened. Birth of Moses and his marriage has been described in the most respectful manner. Not a single derogatory word has been used in the Quran for any of the prophets those mentioned in the Bible.

Why burn the Quran? Burn those books in which baseless allegations have been put on many of the prophets of God. That will be fully justified.

Once you read its translation, you will be convinced that Quran is the best book on earth, every word is of God, the God of Adam, Abraham, Moses and Jesus (peace be upon them all). Not a single word has changed in 1431 years. It is in its original,   pristine form preserved in Turkey and in Leningrad . 

It is totally a wrong concept that it was written by the prophet Muhammad (pbuh). How can a person who did not know how to read anything or write, can write a book of over 600 pages without any mistake, describing the advance theory of science and space? He could not even put his signature on the letters which he sent to the heads of states, he used to stamp them with a seal of his name. Moreover the Quran is in the highest literary form of Arabic language, which he did not speak; he used to speak colloquial Arabic.

How can Quran be considered man made; a book which describes intricate embryological development of a fetus, space science, complicated oceanography and in over 1400 years no one has found any contradiction or any mistake? Every word of the Quran is the word of God, the same God of Adam, Abraham Moses and Jesus Christ. How can anyone even think of burning the words of your own God? 

What is radical about Islam or the teachings of the Quran? Without reading it you call it radical!

Bring a single copy of the Bible which is in its original form. What amount of changes is made in the Bible by men to the words of God? Who gave them the authority in the very first place to change the words of God, revise and re-revise the Bible? But still we do not call it radical. We also have appeal to the Muslims of the whole world don’t even think of burning a single copy of the Bible in retaliation because the Bible has the names of our 24 prophets whom all we respect from the core of our hearts. 

Coming down to the most crucial point of 9/11: The allegation is again on the Muslim, so they decided to burn the Quran, stop building an Islamic Center in Manhattan near Ground Zero. Have a look at the documentaries made on the truth of 9/11. These documentaries are proved without the shadow of doubt there in the scenario of 9/11 in the year 2001, no Muslim was involved. In one of the documentary it said loud and clear  that no Muslim is involved in 9/11.

Amazing, all the documentaries and films are made by Americans and that too Christians. Go through each and every documentary on U-Tube, you will be amazed, who did it - you have to decide yourself of course not any Muslim?  The preparation was done three months before 9/11. If anyone considers these documentaries are not authentic, why can’t they take the producers to the courts and involve FBI to investigate how dare they can make such movie which has tarnished the image of America all over the world and the whole world had sunk in deep recession shattering the economy of all the countries.

What benefit they achieved by doing so? Thousands of Americans were killed and even are being killed today. Trillions of Dollars have burnt in smoke, millions of innocent people were killed and other multimillions suffered. Why don’t these preachers of peace go after them who did it? Why Muslims and why Quran? 

: got this from an email sent to me.. =)

MY opinion on ....

after i went out with me mates this evening i was inspired to:

1) update my blog

2) came up a topic to share on my blog..

hahah!! it's been a while since my last post... and just today i was being presented with a business proposal about e-education or like what they named it 'webucation' [erma jgn kecik hati ya~ this is only my opinion.. heheh! ^^]  


okay the thing is.. those online education is good.. not that i'm against it.. but for it to be the main method of studying for me is not a good idea.. i mean what happens to the good old fashion way of studying? where it teaches you about hard work and at the same time you learned about the things that you're studying.. this brings me to this: nowadays people are trying hard to make their children smart in education... like in maths or science and stuff.. don't they know that this gives the children stress.. can you imagine a 6 year old  already have stress? isn't it to much for a child? aren't you supposed to start gaining stress when you are like at the end of your teens??

being smart is good.. its a gift.. you use it well you get success.. you don't use it its your lost. but not all people are being born smart.. where this kind of people needs to study hard to achieve their goal.. without hard work they will be a nobody with nothing in their future even if they're born in a rich family.

but i found that forcing your child to score A in every exams on every subject is ridiculous! YES! to me it is.. you see no matter how many A's your child get in an exam doesn't mean they'll ace in life. and here i thought that we study for your life. i have been living with that in my mind.. no matter what you get in your exams does nothing to your life.. yes you can get into the college that you wanted.. yes you'll be look up to by the people around you and yes you'll have a good record in your studies and so on.. like i said not all people are born smart.. so they will be a portion of people out there who scored all this by just memorising all the things that they need to remember for them to answer the questions given in the examinations. where this will make them end up just memorising the facts where they should actually understand the facts. (okay somehow i'm lost here.. hahah! =D)

i have observes students out there (where ever it is i end up studying ;p) most of them who got good grades in school doesn't get good grades while in university and some doesn't do well while they had started their working life.. why? this is what i think the reason is : usually those Ace student nowadays are to preoccupied with their studies that they end up having 'cultural shcok' when they're in the outside life. emotionally, psychically and mentally. why? because what you study in school doesn't teach you what life outside of school is all about.

(okay lari dari my main purpose here, haha!)

now back to what i wanted to say.. what i wanted to say was.. what happen to 'study for life'? study for your future.. nowadays all i see is parents trying their hard to earned money to get their children to enrolled into some prestige school somewhere, where they actually teach the same subject like in any other schools.what difference does it make? okay they may use a different approach.. but some other kids from some normal government school could do better than those kids from the prestige school anyway~ so why the fuss? i see that most parents is working their ass up just to make sure that their child wont live a hard life like what they have been through or so,.. i think~ ^^ and this is making the kids getting used to being 'spoon feed' that they forgot what 'hard work' is all about and how important it really is in life. they will be expecting everything to be spoon fed to them 'coz thats what they have been growing up to all those years. of course there's the saying "you are never to late to study" but to me this saying doesn't apply to 'hard work'. to me hard work is something you develop when you were a child while you are in a process of learning regardless on what's the subject.

anyway, i have been hearing people keep on saying that kids should not be pressure with studies and all this shit.. but why do i still see people are still forcing their kids to be smart/clever. i mean what ever happens to leave the child be? let them decide what they want to be? all i see now is that the children is living up their parents dream.. the dream that they once upon a time wish they could get.

(i'm getting of course again..ah! who cares! ^^)

well to me just support what the child is interested in and not forcing them to be what they're not is what we're supposed to do.. but hen again who am i to say all this? who is going to listen and respond to me? i'm just a nobody in this world.. well i'm a nobody for now.. ^^

well i'm having the so-called writer's block.. hah! somehow i have forgotten what more i wanted to say .. so i'll stop for now~  till next time. ;)

mai's birthday!

it's ur birthday! 

thank GOD you were born on this date in the year 1987.. 

though you're one year older than me

but to me you are the same age as me! 

hoho!!

[bangga lerr awak muda lagi!~ ]

i dont know what would i become if you weren't there for me

when i need you..

sorry for bothering you with my whining! ahahah!!

u're my place to 'ngerepak' about others :)

hehehe..

you will always be my partner in crime!

crime yg sik crime enough!

ahahah!! >w<

you know i love you! 

anyway again..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

^_^

p/s: i have your present p sik tauk bila mok merik! ahahahahah!!!! btw.. if this sucks i'm sorry!! hhohoho!!! ^^

 

what happens when my brain thinks too much.. ^_^

the reason for my blog this this time at this hour [5.10 a.m] is because that i couldn't sleep.. at all.. i've been having insomnia this past few days.. and what causes this to happen? it was simply because i was thinking of too many things in my life lately.. 

maybe it is because the thought of someone my age or even younger can be successful in what they love to do makes me anxious to just sit and do nothing.. [nothing = to just enjoy my time before i went on a job hunt -which in my case i was recently eager to work in a restaurant-based field] <-- that was when i decided before i have all this thoughts.. 

i think my problem is that i'm the type of person you just cant rushed to make a decision.. especially when it involved my future and me in it.. i have conclude that:

• i am the kind of person who just love working.. no matter what kind of work it is.. i just realised this now.. this is because the thought of me doing some works that need to be submitted to someone that is important [or so] makes me excited.. some how.. heheheh..[except for house work. hahahah!! maybe because i'm living with my parents.. huhuhuuu~ ^^]
• i hate studying! especially when i am being forced too.. like school and such.. its like i have to study not because i want to its because i have to.. but studying on my own will i like.. its because i want to.. get the point?

so what i wanna say is that me hating interior designing is not true.. NOT TRUE! i somewhat like it.. heck its like what i have been thinking about my whole life.. now that i realised it.. everywhere i go all i think about is design.. of course when i was a kid i didn't know what was i thinking... but DESIGN is the only thing that i thought about alot... so i've decided to just work in an interior design firm for a few years.. to gain my knowledge and what not.. in the same time i could study about business and restaurants/culinary by myself.. there's alot of self study books sells out there in the world.. so since i am a smart kid i know i can juggle all this together in a few years preparing myself  for my future which is what i really want to do in life.. which is:

• to open a coffee house.. >w
• to manage an interior design firm.. with my friends as a partner of course! 
• maybe, open a boutique shop. with the style that i like.. hihi..
• and last TRAVELLING!!!! 

wish me all the best! and success in my future! i know i will work my ass up for it! hohOHOHO!

this is all thanks to me being on my so-called holiday i guess.. my head was too wrapped up with me avoiding to continue my studies in interior design which my parents keep on insisting me.. and taking a wrong turn here and there.. and i was being rushed to make decisions right after whatever that's happening to me that it makes me or my head to be exact be in a very complicated situations that i cant think things clearly.. like i said before  i am the type of person who cant be rushed to make a decisions.. i think too much.. and i cant avoid that habit of mine.. i think about things too much and into every details that i cant make such decision in such short short time.. forgive me... but that is just the habit that i myself cant throw it away.. its how i am.. i cant change that part of me.. so here i hope that whoever involves in this understands me now..now that i understands myself a bit more.... 

i guess my parents will be like "i thought that you hate id.. blah blah blah.." and so on.. but what can i do.. i was being pushed and rushed.. i can think well.. *sighs* 

now that this is out of my chest.. i could go on a job hunting easily..[ not that getting a job is easy.. heheh.. i mean my mind here is at ease.. :)]  no wonder i was having this feeling of "teragak agak" when i was just browsing through the jobs section in the papers.. i was considering about everything... i was making too many excuses to avoid me applying for jobs as a kitchen helper...heheheh.. :) 

i guess all i need was just a break from everything and i do mean EVERYTHING for a while just to get my head straight..  ^w^

sumthing short..

i'm on my way finishing the manga "SPECIAL A" by maki minami. i've watch the anime like 2 years ago or so.. and i've just started reading the manga last week... because before this i was to damn lazy to indulge myself in a 99 + 1 chapters of the manga.. kekekeke! ^_^ anyway why i like maki minami's work? coz the drawings are so hilarious. the funny ones ofcourse.. and the guys are just so damn HOT! *drooling* + daydreaming here! the stupid idotic scenes just makes me crack! here's one of the funny looking but cute drawing of minami maki : hikari's dumb struck face.

and more of this cute dummy looking drawings in maki's manga.. huhuhuh! you just gotta read to search for it.. ^_^

future planning!

okay... i know.. "what's up with the coffee picture?" right?.. well the thing is my dream is to open a COFFEE HOUSE.. aint that superb! heheheh!! to me it is! i wanted to open ones like bing!, coffee bean, starbucks and such! sound kinda far fetch? well people say "you dream hard work hard and you'll achieve it!" well that's what I say.. ahahaha!! never mind.. but that is not my one and only.. i have many things to do.. i wanna open restaurants & cafes of all kinds! and probably an id firm. well hey atleast my diploma has a use in my life anyway.. hihihi!! ^_^ but to go that far i need a supports from everyone.. and i do mean EVERYONE!... for now i may have my friends support.. but i still dont get my family full support.. which is the most important support that i need... yes i know i dont have that culinary skills but i can pay people! ahah! hahahah!! i can cook but i dont have the skills... but whatever it is i think that i'm going to be in the business life people! yeah! you guys out there just wait and see me POP! hehehe!!! wish me luck! ^_^

korean guys i love! ^v^

guess what?? i just found new cute guy for me to drool at it's mir from mblaq.. he's cute!~ ohoh!! oh i never say this before but i love korean idols! wuhoo!! they are so damn cute, hot, fine.. you name it! ahaha!! so here's a list of them that i like! kyaa!~ ^^ (just thinking 'bout it makes my heart beats fast! ;)

Jang Geun Suk

Kim Young Woon a.k.a Kangin

Kwon Ji Yong a.k.a G-Dragon

Lee Seung Gi

Kim Jun Su a.k.a Xiah Junsu

Lee Hong Ki

Kim Tae Pyeong a.k.a Hyun Bin

Gong Ji Cheol a.k.a Gong yoo

Kim Jong Hyun

Lee Min Ho

Bang Chul Yong a.k.a Mir

the list doesn't end here.. there's so many of them.. this are among the ones that i like most..and they have one thing in common : their smile! oh i just fall for that smile... ^v^ eheheh!! some are actors and some are singers.. and most of them can do both! ngeee! (^_____^) for those who cant see how i'm reacting to this post let me tell you i am literally grinning from ear to ear.. just by browsing their pictures in the net is enough to make me happy! (for the time being ofcourse! ahaha!! ^^) aaaaaahhh!~ *droolsss*

dhilah! happy birthday!!!!! ^_^

IT'S YOU!

you were born on this day

thank you for still being alive

thank you for still staying friends

though you know that i'm annoying! ahah!!

you are one of my dearly beloved friends

whom i know the longest..14 YEAR

that is how long we have been friends

hope that we will still forever will be

BEST FRIENDS untill the day we die

you know i LOVE you

no matter how busy a woman you are..

heheheh! and lastly :

HAPPY BRITHDAY!!!!!!

^v^

LOVE:

MIZAH

p/s: sorry if this sucks! ahahah!! i dont know what to say actually and i didnt forget it this year yeah!! hihihi!.. ada agik~ anyway love ya! and miss ya! ^^ muah muah! ^3^

small giant.

i watched this drama this evening.. i think it was called "small giant".. a korean drama.. at kbs world the programe is called drama city..

the story is about a guy who is 26 years old but stuck in a body of a ten year old.. he fell in love with a girl while he was ten.. but then the girl moved because of family problem.. somehow the father is running away from some debt or some sort.. back to the guy.. he was the owner of a bakery shop. everyone who doesnt know about him will obviouslt thinks that he is  ten year old.. even when he went to have a drink (soju) an old man scold him.. but instead of letting his buddy have a huge argument with the old man he appologise instead and said that he wont drink again.. kind of sad.. he met his first love.. she was a kindergarten teacher. and he still have a feeling for her.. and on the other hand.. he has a grilfriend.. sort of..  a girl.. more or less than a ten year old.. his first love does love him but in the mean time she is tricking him.. in order to get his money ( he is somewhat rich i supposed..) the girl lied to him that her family (where at that moment was her uncle & cousin) is in trouble with their business and in order to make sucess is that they need money.. at this moment the guy already knew the girl's bad intention.  how? on the day after the girl ask for his hand in marrige and at that day that he told the girl that he was getting a hormon injection (coz he wants to feel the hapiness like ither 26 year old guys) and also on the day they almost make-out with each other the guy caught the girl with her cousin discussing on when will she get his money.. and then to make the story short the guy gave her his money though he knew her plan.. but in the end the girl gave up after she knew that the guy knew what she was doing to him.... she told her cousin what they did was wrong and intended to give back the money.. but her cousin was furious about her decision and end up beating her to almost-death with his golf club... and the guy was so depressed that he drove his friend's car and crash to a lamp post or was it and electric pole? i dont remember.. then 3 years passed.. the guy is still the same.. succeeding his bakery shop while when he saw his first love selling things at the market he ran to her and sing some church song to her while she was trying to avoid him.. the girl hurt her leg.. it ws broken i think... she gave up when she heard the guy sings and in the end they faced each other and cried..

actually the point of me writting this is to praise the kid who act as the guy.. OMG! he is like a professional actor.. can you imagine a kid maybe a ten or eleven or so act as a 26 year old and nailed it...i tell you it is very convincing.. he does look the part.... he seemed mature.. you just gotta see it.. i think he will be a good actor in no time.. ^_^

i'm a person with loads of interest.

i cant sleep...

i thought that when i've done my decision on what i want to do a.k.a my future planning i would be more at ease... but my thought was wrong.

i told my mum that i wanted to work as a kitchen helper (full time for now.. and part time when i'm studying later) and further my study in business management. because my aim or my goal is to open a restaurant.. a coffee house to be exact... and if my luck is good and everything goes well i could open an interior design firm.. well atleast that my diploma wont go to waste..but she just like why?  =_="

they keep on pushing me to work in and ID firm and what not.. or me being a teacher since they say that i was so into teaching.. which i'm not.. i like teaching.. but i'm not really serious in that.. it was just a 'the moment kind of thing.. i'm a person with many interest for God sakes.. so it is not easy for me to decide things especially when i'm being pushed to make one. damn!

i have been telling them (everyone that i know of) that i will WILL someday open a coffee shop.. but what did my parents say? they just like take it lightly and as usual take it as if i was joking.. like i always joke around? i dont know why.. no matter how serious i am with them they still takes me jokingly.. they never consider my need and wants seriously...

*sighs* i'm depress some how.. i dont know why.. my dd keep pushing me to apply jobs online.. jobs like as in me working in an office/co. i have been telling them that i dont want that kind of jobs.. let alone me working in an interior design firm.. i hate interior design.. dont get me wrong..i like to design but to work as a designer? no thanks!

what is wrong with working as  kitchen helper anyway? its not like i'm working as a begger... 

i dont know.. my mind is in a knot. i cant think straight.. keep on having migrains which i hate.. i just dont know what else i should do..

i know they are worried untill they are looking for jobs for me through their connection but that is not what i wanted.. i dont want that one day when everything goes wrong by the end of the day i go and blame them for everything... and its their fault that i'm going through things... i dont want them to make the desicion for me... its MY future.. MY life.. let me make that decision for MYself! and let me blame it on my own for my mistake.. all i need is that they support me in no matter what i do in my life.. NOT supporting me by doing things for me... if i need their help i will ask for if.. and if i dont then that means that i can handle things on my own...

gah! i told them i wanted to do.. and now its up to them to agree or not.. but i will never do things their way anymore.. if they dont agree i will find a way to make them agree..

but... i have one problem.. it is hard for me to talk to my parents... wht should i do??? =.=?

p/s: anyone wants to hire me as a kitchen helper??? ehehe! ^^

malaysian artist is no good nowadays..

am watching akedemi fantasia (AF) right now... so far the first one i've watch from the begining.. well sort of.. here is what i think about AF8 this season.. S.U.C.K! seriously.. the song is already short and easy. but yet their perfomance is just so so.. no i think it is lower than the so so standard... yes they are not profesional.. but if u are in this kind of performing industry you should take it seriously.. if you wanted a 15 minutes of fame u better dont be in it... i know that it's a reality show but they are a student in that academy.. dont you think so..

i think the malaysian entertainment industry is still raw.. still un exposed.. no wonder not many malaysian artist is known world wide.. they are not even well known in asia.. just malaysia..
okay i might sound bias right now but somehow i like the korean or japanese entertainment industry more.. if you compared them and the malaysian the difference are like "langit dan bumi"... they are that far apart.. and dont tell me the reason is that we malaysian is not up to that level yet..if you want to be at that level or higher you must ain to go there and work your ass out to be there...

you see if you want to be an entertainer/idol in korea you must be good in singing, dancing, acting, MC-ing, and know who to respond in a tv show... but malaysian? as long as you have the looks (pretty/handsome/cute a.k.a good looking people with a no-use-of-a-telent)you can already be and idol.. what the heck? where's the quality? malaysian artist newbie or professional to me they have the same thing in common.. they dont have any qualities in their works.. and they pretend more on screen and have no original identity.. everything is fake and a made up attitude/personality... basically they are so lame.. no wait whats the word?? oh yeah "MENGADA NGADA" okay now i am offcourse in what i wanted to say..

k.. now we're back to the main topic. AF.. yes now they suck! they can sing but the songs is like what adlin said "a karaoke type of songs".. there is no challenge.. i see that the critics gave they're opinion this and that.. what are they lack off and so and so.. i've been hearing the same comment... but somehow the students they just "masok telinga kanan keluar telinga kerek".. and the teachers somehow on the concert they go like *nods nods* then "yeah thats right.." but if they think so then why not be strict with the students to change and to teach them how it should be... like the first AF (now i like that.. where it was pure and honest)..ah i just do not know how to put my opinion on this... its just so hard to write it down in words.. so basicly to me this year AF is NO GOOD! try to change.. i think if they sing the full version of the song then they would take it seriously.. TOO easy makes people lazy.. esp young generation nowadays.. trust me.. i'm one of them.. ^^

well it is not like what i am saying here will be heard.. but what do i care eh? ahahahah!!

*mantak, byk eksen, too control, too preserve with their own.. have NO originality... and this actualy applied to all malaysian artist out there.. they have no originalty of their own identity.. they dont act like how they really are.. they just pretend to be themselves.. semua control.. semua eksen. kacak gilak kah? hebat gilak kah?? esp actor/actress.. adoh! very terok! i like theater actors/actresses more than the TV drama/movie type.. it is so.. "ugh!" there is no what you say good emotion.. basicly they just cant act.. it doesnt look real.. ofcourse it is not.. u're acting for God's sake! but u know u gotta be real if you wanna be good. enuff with the excessive make up already.. looks unatural to me and it makes the film/drama worst.. and try not to follow other tv soap/drama etc.. like i said there is no originaly and the natural-ness of IT (everything in the artist - singer, actor, actress and the direction of the movie.. the jalan cerita the songs nowadays.. everything that involves with the malaysian entertainment industries).. there are no new ideas.. no fresh out of te fridge ideas..suma mok ngekot org lain.. only some to me is good.. but not great.. but it is good... i think that malaysian artist should know about this.. and try to change.* - geh! then again who am i eh? ^^

my first of the year.

wow! i've just realise that i havent post any blogs this year.. ahahhah!!! well then let me share something about this first quater of the year...

i have done one major decision this year.. i quit my study in uni.. yeah!.. since i've just started.. and it is BORING! the classes is like WHAT??!!!~ and i was like WHAT?!~ most of the classes are basic class which obviously we have to study basic in art which i have done it when i was taking my diploma in interior design which i despise! yeah thats right! i hate the thought of studying design.. i like it but i hate it.. wierd? well thats me! ahahah!!

anyway, here is the list of reasons:

a) what i've told you just now.. in class we are studying the same basic thing in art which i have done it before... which is why it is boring to me. and get this i cant make a pengecualian credit.. or so i'v heard.. but if i do still i would have only three classes for this semester.. and that would be MAJOR boring for mua.

b) i am wasting my precious time... my class is like 'chipsmore'..
"sekejap ada sekejap sekda"..

c) i'm wasting money.. precious oh precious money.. every week i have to go out and buy drawing things for my art class.. and if i'm doing my photo asgnmt. (in my basic photo class) i would use more and more money.. considering that i have to rent a car.. go here and there would cost me alot of money! thank GOD i quit before it happens.. and i have to eat outside everytime.. like at the cafe or something.. and it cost more money to.. sekali makan 10 ringgit.. can u try and imagine if i ate 3 times a day and time it in a week how much have i spent just in that one week... and because of that i have to starve and just ate once a day.. which is not enough for me to regain my energy considering on how much i've lost in one day.. in the end i end up eating maggie for the night... which brings us to my next reason..

d) having a non-healthy diet.. the environment there is like very very tiring. why? that is because in shah alam the campus is 'berbukit bukau'.. though my faculty is just right in front of my hostel but i have to walk up hill and down hill to just reach there.. and every day i have to walk up and down twice.... which makes me loses energy fast and obviously i need to consume enough nutrients... which i can only consume once daily.. the rest of the day i would just eat biscuits/maggie which is not a healthy food for my 20++ body.. and in the end of the day i'm having migrain and such... then i would have to take my medicine.. which is bad very BAD for my body...

e) i HATE the photo student in uitm perak.. they think they are soo good! hah!kiss my fat ass! if you are good you do not need to show it off with your not so pretty face.. ur just a student for god sakes! not a pro! huh! they think that they are the IT people.. fuck of.. INGGA NYAWAKU! INGGA EH! INGGA! tauk ko the word INGGA!?! yah... just so that you're a photo student doesnt mean that you are a great person of something.. showing off your camera here and there. huh... even a 5 year old kid can take pictures... so why the show off? jeez.. yep. i hate student who just cant get along with other student from other department.. huh!

f) i actually want a long break before i started to continue my study again.. my diploma was a tough one.. though i hate it but at least it is fun studying it... and i have a full schedule of classes which makes me busy all the time.. and i like it... but then my parents was like just continue.. while you get the offer.. so i try but i didnt do whole heartedly coz i was some what like forced to do it.

e) now this is the one that makes me really DAMN lazy to study there.. my PTPTN is like 550 per semester.. what do they aspect me to live by? eating sands and stones and drinking tap water??? stupid. even my degree fees is like 680. but they give me 550? and the call it the 'kadar yuran'.. what the?! it cant even cover my fees let alone my living expenses for the whole semester.. apa kau pikir mak bapak aku tok cop duit kah? ada mesin polah duit kah kat rumah aku? paloi! yah..

kan dah sik pasal pasal aku nganok org kerajaan.. but what can i do.. it is FACTS! not fiction... FACTS!

there... ngerepak sudah saya tok.. dah lah... hahahah!! i'll post another about other things later! ^_^