i want just want to say hello.

i'm here... for such a long time... i just so many things and thoughts in my mind but i just cant get each and everything out.. i need someone to talked to.. someone who would actually listen to me and just nod.. and at the end of the day he/she would just forget everything..i have met some one like that.. but somehow we are not that close of a friend... there is also one person whom i can talked to but he's just so far away... i have the intention to call him but i dont know... something just pull me back... i miss him being around.. but now we are so far apart and we are not how we used to be like back then... *sighs*

i just found out that a friend of mind is dating my old classmate... which is wierd.. but whatever... i wish happiness for them.. and my other friend has dump her last boyfirend who had bad-mouthed her to her current boyfriend while the soon-to-be ex asked my friend to let the both of them alone.. confused? i'm sorry i'm not good with words... and my another friend is still happily having a relationship with her boyfriend...

i am also in a situation where i'm stuck in between with my other friends whom has problems with each others... (i'm just making it short coz its to complicated and i am just freaking tired of it) *sighs*

but that are other's problem which i'm not sure weather i am 100% involved or just partly or i'm not in any of it.. ???

what i'm really stressed out here is that i just cant stand being home...i know this sound like a school kid problems but it is still mine untill now.. when is it going to end? i am not sure.. i think untill i'm married. this does sounds like child-like problems.. but like i said.. i does happen to me.. ALL the time... all the time.. if you want to stop reading then go ahead.. STOP.. no one is stopping you... but if you take the desicion to go on and read.. then you are warned. ahah.. *sighs*...

kay.. i'm 20 right.. well 21 to be exact.. but somehow i am still being treated as if i am 15.. okay ... i have curfews.. that is to be back before midnight... when i was 17 it was 11.. but now that i'm 21 it's 10 or even earlier.. sometimes at 8 or 9 they (my parents) would already rings me up and would asked me where i am and when will i be back 'coz its almost midnight in a very VERY annoying tone...
they usually get mad when we talked to them with THE tone.. so i make myself to talk "tone-less"... but then when they talked with that tone with me.. its fine.. dont i supposed to be mad at that to.. if they have the right why dont i?? or am i not allowed to 'coz i'm the child? *whatever*
one more thing.. why cant i be out late at night.. dont they trust me.. they say they do but why dont they just let me go?? it's not that i'm out with some strange guy or some sort.. i just hung out with my friends who are girls.. all around.. not that i have anyproblems with them but why cant i?? it's not like i'm out with some delinquents kids whom i just randomly approach.. not like i go out to some club and go drink till i'm drop dead drunk... no i did not do ny of this.. at all.. it is not even in my to do list. but if they just leave me alone out with my friends i know when to be back...and usually i will be back before midnight..around 10 or 11 and sometimes earlier.... and if i'm late its just abit later that 12 or 1 am.. still i will be back.. no harm.. so what i hang around at some cafe further away from home.. i know its dangerous to be out late at night.. but i can take care of myself.. i'm not atlking big here... and its not like i want it to happen... but just saying that "you're 21 year old daughter KNOWS how to take care of herself already!"...... *sighs* but then again.. who am i to hve a say in this anyway... no one actually listen to me.. especially the people in this house.

i so cant wait to move out.. dont get me wrong.. its not that i hate staying here or be home.. its just that i cant live this kinda life anymore... i need my own space.. i want my own rules.. cant i?? i just like to be alone.. having people around is GREAT! but not all the time.. it makes me uncomfortable... i want to hve my room atleast... i wnt PRIVACY! i dont want people just barge in my room as if no one is there... the ironing board is in my room.. so it is so obvious that if people want to do some ironing they would be in my room... so technically all the clothes that needs ironing will automatically in my room in basketS. and some will be hang in that room to.. what's worst is that i practically SHARE my rom with my sister.. it's not that there's something wrong with her its just that the sharing part makes the word privacy has no meaning to it.... i have things to keep.. things that i DONT want to let people look or see or touch or even worst SHARE!... i'm private kind of person.. so sometimes what i do is none of your business... not sometimes.. it's all the time... but then again who am i to say anything about this?? *sighs*

i so want to move out.. and to have a place of my own with my own life to live..alone.. with my own rules.. its not that i hate being around with people.. i so LOVE being with the people that i love.. my families and my friends and foes (if i have any).. but sometime you just want to be away from it all to be with it again sooner of later....

*sighs* it is so hard to tell all this here... coz i do not know how to explain cyber-ly... i know some people out there are having tougher time with their life compared to mine.. but hey.i have a right to voice out my difficulties though it sounds like i'm a fifteen year-old who just knew how to blog..

just to make it short.. i'm dpressed being at home in THIS kind of situations. =.=

i'm lost...

me here... so long since my last post.. ngeee~
tomorrow is my bus to perak... at 3.. watching honey and clover while doing my CAD drawing... in between that forcing myself searching for good ideas somewhere in my brain and mind and soul... *sighs* what have got into me that makes it hard for me to actually came up with ideas for my designs. i may not be good in that subject but usually i could just came up with lots and lots of ideas which can be used.. but now.. my mind is just like a blank piece of paper that will never be written on.. i dont think that i pick a complicated project.. i have ideas before.. but where did they go?? if i say they got lost somewhere from the INCIDENT that would be just an excuse.. or is it?? i cant think straight from then on thats for sure.. i need time to focus and gain my self-conciousness.. but i'm out of time.. if i get the time that i need i would have to extend my studies and i dont want it to happen.. i just want to finnish this diploma as soon as possible.. but my design... that is my only problems.. other subject i can score easily. i only have three papers for my examination this year.. so no worries. my design subject is a burden.. i'm not having any fun doing it at all this time.. which is SO NOT ME!
tasukete yo...

marrying the right person???

a great article which i recieved in my mail which we can learn more about relationships...

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.

She said,"How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse/partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/ habit).

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.

You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love...Because it's happening TO YOU .

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there;doing nothing,and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy.It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria(excitement) of love fades.It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely,phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not alwayswelcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?"

And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you oncehad, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappinessand look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extra marital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a friendship,excessive TV,or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.

It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can "make" love .

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.

Remember this always :

"God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."

types of girls men like.. hmm???

this is an article i took from the internet... quite facinating and interesting.. (urh.. is it the same?? ahahah!!! x3) anyway, happy reading...

Men love all shapes and sizes

Ladies, it's time to stop cursing your jiggly bum. And while you're at it, no more whining about your thunder thighs or colossal calves. And those hips you think would fit better on a birthing cow? Learn to love 'em. Because the truth is, what you consider a flaw may be some guy's favourite feature. Really. There are guys out there who prefer a flat chest to a couple of D-cups, A pot belly to a set of toned abs and a shapely derriere to a tiny tush. Next time you're looking at a magazine ad and then make the mistake of examining your reflection in the mirror, remember this: You've got your mind fixated on this ideal look. But in reality, the body type you see in ads is possessed naturally by less than 5% of females according to a study done by the Social Issues Research Centre. That's a tough goal. Let's get realistic. You're not in that 5%. But the good news is, none of your friends, co-workers or family members probably are either. So why measure yourself against Claudia Schiffer when your real standard should be your friend Cassie with the wide hips or Aunt Sally with the love handles? Still not convinced? Check out these body types and the men that worship them:

1. Juice in the caboose.

Let's all give a round of applause to J. Lo for bringing back the bum. Yes, girls have had large rears since the invention of chocolate, but they always hid them in shame. They even experimented with clever fashion tricks to cover them up — ever tried the discreet jumper around the waist? Not necessary anymore. Jenny from the block changed everything when she not only let her arse make an appearance — she let it steal the show. Wesley, 24, has got it bad for the bigger behind, "I don't care if a girl's got a flat chest or a big chest, but if she doesn't have a nice round bum, I'm not interested." The guys that go for junk in the trunk are typically good dancers. So shake it like, J. Lo on the dance floor and they'll come crawling. Just get used to making introductions from behind. ..

2. Stacked like a library.

Okay, it's pretty hard to go wrong when you're well-endowed on top. Many have speculated on men's fascination with breasts and few have come up with a logical explanation. Jason, 26, takes a stab at this classic dilemma, "Men love cool, multi-purpose gadgets, and breasts may be the best gadget of all ... they provide nourishment for the young, a place to rest a head for the pillow-less, and a hand-hold for the ... people who are neither young, nor sleepy." So what type of man is most drawn to these wiggly wonders? All men. And that's the plight of the D-cup: You never know if he likes you or the twins. The A-cups think that's a fair trade.

3. Petite power.

The tiny girls who still get asked for ID for 15 rated films really have the pick of the litter. With no height constrictions, they can date guys from 5'5 to 6'5. I'm talking about girls who long to hear their men describe them as "gorgeous" and "sexy" but have to settle for "adorable" and "cute." Who are the men flattering these miniature maidens? They are guys with a thing for much younger girls. They love it that their women are pint-sized and that their feet don't touch the ground when they sit in chairs. It's okay if your man wants to keep you young at heart. But if he asks you to put on a Catholic school girl uniform, run away. Fast.

4. Skeletal supermodels.

The tall, thin and gorgeous girls often complain that they can't get a date. Maybe men are intimidated. And why shouldn't they be? The supermodel is the highest level on the dating barometer. Think about it. People always measure against the supermodel: "He can get any girl he wants — even a supermodel," or "Well, she's pretty, but it's not like she's a supermodel," are just a couple of common rumblings. Or maybe supermodels go dateless because men don't know what to suggest for a date. I mean, these girls obviously don't go out to eat. But don't worry; the supermodels of the world will never be lonely. They have an ample supply of rock stars and rich men who love to show them off.

5. Va-va-va-voluptuous.

Do you have it all? Big boobs, big hips and a big bum to boot? No need to hide those curves under a baggy t-shirt — flaunt your hourglass figure. "I like a girl with some substance," says Luke, 31, "I don't like to worry that I'm breaking a girl when I hug her." Don't worry, Luke. Voluptuous girls are unbreakable — they're natural women. We salute the Lukes of the world for keeping it real. Seriously. Women's bodies have to go through excruciating events like child birth and post-break-up pizza binges – which are both, interestingly enough, caused by men!

6. Buff and tough.

Athletic girls may have tight butts and a six pack but like our friends, the supermodels, they can sometimes intimidate guys. How can a guy date a girl who could potentially kick his ass? Or worse, beat him in a fierce game of thumb war? "I dated this girl who did triathlons," confesses Mark, 26, "I'd try to train with her but I couldn't even keep up. I always felt pathetic around her."

If you're still thinking, "There's no way someone could ever love my squishy tummy," then that's because you don't love it. If you carry yourself as if you're the sexiest women in the room, men will notice. So love your big bum. Love your flat chest. Love your thunder thighs. Then he'll love them. And while you're doing all this lovin', learn to love his pot belly too!.

By Elsa K. Simcik.

so?? which one are you?? ehhee... ;3

one reason why.....

one reason why i dislike to stay home is that i'm tired of being treated as if i'm still a fifteen years old...

why? because i'm 20 for GOD sakes! and turning to 21.. whats up with the "kiddies treatments" dude?!? i still have curfews.. while my other freinds doesnt.. i know they are worried that i'm out late at night... something might happen and it is not safe out there.. but.... i know how to handle myself out there... i know where to go and when it is safe... but as usual they treat me as if i do not know how to take care of myself...

well if they want to show their worries and concen they dont really have to be mad at me! they dont have to yell and talk with "the tone"... i hate the tone... as if i did something very very VERY WRONG... like for example i had an accident or almost.. (EXAMPLE only!) they would be mad as if they never had the experience.. but when it is their fault they would just kept it quiet like nothing had happen.. but if it is me.. they would blab blab blab and more bab until you just cant stand it anymore and just listen while your ears reddden....humph.. you want to be angry with them you cant.. in resut you would argue with them which i hate most... i cant stand the blabbering either... i cant tell them the truth/ just simply talk to them about it coz they would blab it to my other family members.. who would tell others too... gfhdlvmzfmrnuhk!!!!!!

sometime i wish that i woud just move out from this home as soon as possible... the longer i stay here the more worst it gets... i'm tired.. seriously.. i dont hate.. just damn tired with the kiddies treatment... i know i'm still their daughter.. but there are times that i dont really need them to call me 24/7 just to check up on me... i know when i should be back home... so what i'm 30 minutes late... i cant just be home at 11 sharp.. i went out at 8.. when you're with friends 1 o 2 hours is not enough... why? because you dont see them everyday!!! you would want to know your friends latest news and so on.. whats going on.. and such... and 2 hours just not enough... for me.. maybe we crap most of the time.. so wee need more time to catch up with each other...

ah! what the heck. its not that my problem would solve here.. well atleast my anger are now almost gone....

heee... =3