i want just want to say hello.

i'm here... for such a long time... i just so many things and thoughts in my mind but i just cant get each and everything out.. i need someone to talked to.. someone who would actually listen to me and just nod.. and at the end of the day he/she would just forget everything..i have met some one like that.. but somehow we are not that close of a friend... there is also one person whom i can talked to but he's just so far away... i have the intention to call him but i dont know... something just pull me back... i miss him being around.. but now we are so far apart and we are not how we used to be like back then... *sighs*

i just found out that a friend of mind is dating my old classmate... which is wierd.. but whatever... i wish happiness for them.. and my other friend has dump her last boyfirend who had bad-mouthed her to her current boyfriend while the soon-to-be ex asked my friend to let the both of them alone.. confused? i'm sorry i'm not good with words... and my another friend is still happily having a relationship with her boyfriend...

i am also in a situation where i'm stuck in between with my other friends whom has problems with each others... (i'm just making it short coz its to complicated and i am just freaking tired of it) *sighs*

but that are other's problem which i'm not sure weather i am 100% involved or just partly or i'm not in any of it.. ???

what i'm really stressed out here is that i just cant stand being home...i know this sound like a school kid problems but it is still mine untill now.. when is it going to end? i am not sure.. i think untill i'm married. this does sounds like child-like problems.. but like i said.. i does happen to me.. ALL the time... all the time.. if you want to stop reading then go ahead.. STOP.. no one is stopping you... but if you take the desicion to go on and read.. then you are warned. ahah.. *sighs*...

kay.. i'm 20 right.. well 21 to be exact.. but somehow i am still being treated as if i am 15.. okay ... i have curfews.. that is to be back before midnight... when i was 17 it was 11.. but now that i'm 21 it's 10 or even earlier.. sometimes at 8 or 9 they (my parents) would already rings me up and would asked me where i am and when will i be back 'coz its almost midnight in a very VERY annoying tone...
they usually get mad when we talked to them with THE tone.. so i make myself to talk "tone-less"... but then when they talked with that tone with me.. its fine.. dont i supposed to be mad at that to.. if they have the right why dont i?? or am i not allowed to 'coz i'm the child? *whatever*
one more thing.. why cant i be out late at night.. dont they trust me.. they say they do but why dont they just let me go?? it's not that i'm out with some strange guy or some sort.. i just hung out with my friends who are girls.. all around.. not that i have anyproblems with them but why cant i?? it's not like i'm out with some delinquents kids whom i just randomly approach.. not like i go out to some club and go drink till i'm drop dead drunk... no i did not do ny of this.. at all.. it is not even in my to do list. but if they just leave me alone out with my friends i know when to be back...and usually i will be back before midnight..around 10 or 11 and sometimes earlier.... and if i'm late its just abit later that 12 or 1 am.. still i will be back.. no harm.. so what i hang around at some cafe further away from home.. i know its dangerous to be out late at night.. but i can take care of myself.. i'm not atlking big here... and its not like i want it to happen... but just saying that "you're 21 year old daughter KNOWS how to take care of herself already!"...... *sighs* but then again.. who am i to hve a say in this anyway... no one actually listen to me.. especially the people in this house.

i so cant wait to move out.. dont get me wrong.. its not that i hate staying here or be home.. its just that i cant live this kinda life anymore... i need my own space.. i want my own rules.. cant i?? i just like to be alone.. having people around is GREAT! but not all the time.. it makes me uncomfortable... i want to hve my room atleast... i wnt PRIVACY! i dont want people just barge in my room as if no one is there... the ironing board is in my room.. so it is so obvious that if people want to do some ironing they would be in my room... so technically all the clothes that needs ironing will automatically in my room in basketS. and some will be hang in that room to.. what's worst is that i practically SHARE my rom with my sister.. it's not that there's something wrong with her its just that the sharing part makes the word privacy has no meaning to it.... i have things to keep.. things that i DONT want to let people look or see or touch or even worst SHARE!... i'm private kind of person.. so sometimes what i do is none of your business... not sometimes.. it's all the time... but then again who am i to say anything about this?? *sighs*

i so want to move out.. and to have a place of my own with my own life to live..alone.. with my own rules.. its not that i hate being around with people.. i so LOVE being with the people that i love.. my families and my friends and foes (if i have any).. but sometime you just want to be away from it all to be with it again sooner of later....

*sighs* it is so hard to tell all this here... coz i do not know how to explain cyber-ly... i know some people out there are having tougher time with their life compared to mine.. but hey.i have a right to voice out my difficulties though it sounds like i'm a fifteen year-old who just knew how to blog..

just to make it short.. i'm dpressed being at home in THIS kind of situations. =.=