why am i just a girl?

hello! i guess its been awhile since my last blog... heheh... oh well lets get started with my rants as usual...

i'm a girl.. duh! but sometimes i wonder why am i a girl... i know its God's will and i was also the one who agreed to be born as a girl in this world... but sometimes i wonder why am i a girl?? what makes me agree to be born as a girl and not a boy?? why?? you see as a girl.. no matter how tough you may be or look or act... no matter what u do you will always have that soft heart... you will always have that soft spot for that one jerk... no matter how rough i act or how ignorant i am... with just one HELLO from him i will transform from a rock into a flower that is easily wilt n crushed! sometimes i wish i have the heart of a guy... so instead of me being used by them.. i would be the one using them instead.... wouldnt it be fair? well i guess not...

*sighs~*

i really hope i could not think about him anymore... just forget bout him... but somehow i just cant... why? why? why?? he's nothing.. he's not rich... handsome or hot... and plus he has a gilrfriend! then why? why he does all this things to me?? why would he make me fall for him.. he knows i love him... he knows i care... but that doesnt mean he could just use my love n care for him anytime he needs some....

*sighs~*

i really really want to know who am i to him? what am i to him? he may think that he what he does to me right now is nothing.... he could be just playing around using me... he could just treats me just like one of his sisters... but i dont think that way!!!! no matter how i try to fool myself that i'm just like a sister to him i just can't fool myself to that extend... i am still this girl... a stranger whom he met and be friended years ago...... no matter how hard i tell myself that he's just using me and taking me for granted... no matter how i forced myself to forget about him... no matter how much i try not to think about him.... with a single "Hai... how are you dear?~" he will always always wins! my heart... no matter how much i try not to melt.. no matter how hard trained it to be tough... it always melt.... just with those simple words.... DAMN!

now i feel like crying my heart out... why am i just a girl??!

*sighs~*

p/s: i know this may seems like nothing to any of you out there... but its just my rants... if u read all of this then thank you for your time reading my crappy blog... for those who thinks that i should worry over all those world problems.. well i do... i'm just not in the mood to rant any of it! ;p