small giant.

i watched this drama this evening.. i think it was called "small giant".. a korean drama.. at kbs world the programe is called drama city..

the story is about a guy who is 26 years old but stuck in a body of a ten year old.. he fell in love with a girl while he was ten.. but then the girl moved because of family problem.. somehow the father is running away from some debt or some sort.. back to the guy.. he was the owner of a bakery shop. everyone who doesnt know about him will obviouslt thinks that he is  ten year old.. even when he went to have a drink (soju) an old man scold him.. but instead of letting his buddy have a huge argument with the old man he appologise instead and said that he wont drink again.. kind of sad.. he met his first love.. she was a kindergarten teacher. and he still have a feeling for her.. and on the other hand.. he has a grilfriend.. sort of..  a girl.. more or less than a ten year old.. his first love does love him but in the mean time she is tricking him.. in order to get his money ( he is somewhat rich i supposed..) the girl lied to him that her family (where at that moment was her uncle & cousin) is in trouble with their business and in order to make sucess is that they need money.. at this moment the guy already knew the girl's bad intention.  how? on the day after the girl ask for his hand in marrige and at that day that he told the girl that he was getting a hormon injection (coz he wants to feel the hapiness like ither 26 year old guys) and also on the day they almost make-out with each other the guy caught the girl with her cousin discussing on when will she get his money.. and then to make the story short the guy gave her his money though he knew her plan.. but in the end the girl gave up after she knew that the guy knew what she was doing to him.... she told her cousin what they did was wrong and intended to give back the money.. but her cousin was furious about her decision and end up beating her to almost-death with his golf club... and the guy was so depressed that he drove his friend's car and crash to a lamp post or was it and electric pole? i dont remember.. then 3 years passed.. the guy is still the same.. succeeding his bakery shop while when he saw his first love selling things at the market he ran to her and sing some church song to her while she was trying to avoid him.. the girl hurt her leg.. it ws broken i think... she gave up when she heard the guy sings and in the end they faced each other and cried..

actually the point of me writting this is to praise the kid who act as the guy.. OMG! he is like a professional actor.. can you imagine a kid maybe a ten or eleven or so act as a 26 year old and nailed it...i tell you it is very convincing.. he does look the part.... he seemed mature.. you just gotta see it.. i think he will be a good actor in no time.. ^_^

i'm a person with loads of interest.

i cant sleep...

i thought that when i've done my decision on what i want to do a.k.a my future planning i would be more at ease... but my thought was wrong.

i told my mum that i wanted to work as a kitchen helper (full time for now.. and part time when i'm studying later) and further my study in business management. because my aim or my goal is to open a restaurant.. a coffee house to be exact... and if my luck is good and everything goes well i could open an interior design firm.. well atleast that my diploma wont go to waste..but she just like why?  =_="

they keep on pushing me to work in and ID firm and what not.. or me being a teacher since they say that i was so into teaching.. which i'm not.. i like teaching.. but i'm not really serious in that.. it was just a 'the moment kind of thing.. i'm a person with many interest for God sakes.. so it is not easy for me to decide things especially when i'm being pushed to make one. damn!

i have been telling them (everyone that i know of) that i will WILL someday open a coffee shop.. but what did my parents say? they just like take it lightly and as usual take it as if i was joking.. like i always joke around? i dont know why.. no matter how serious i am with them they still takes me jokingly.. they never consider my need and wants seriously...

*sighs* i'm depress some how.. i dont know why.. my dd keep pushing me to apply jobs online.. jobs like as in me working in an office/co. i have been telling them that i dont want that kind of jobs.. let alone me working in an interior design firm.. i hate interior design.. dont get me wrong..i like to design but to work as a designer? no thanks!

what is wrong with working as  kitchen helper anyway? its not like i'm working as a begger... 

i dont know.. my mind is in a knot. i cant think straight.. keep on having migrains which i hate.. i just dont know what else i should do..

i know they are worried untill they are looking for jobs for me through their connection but that is not what i wanted.. i dont want that one day when everything goes wrong by the end of the day i go and blame them for everything... and its their fault that i'm going through things... i dont want them to make the desicion for me... its MY future.. MY life.. let me make that decision for MYself! and let me blame it on my own for my mistake.. all i need is that they support me in no matter what i do in my life.. NOT supporting me by doing things for me... if i need their help i will ask for if.. and if i dont then that means that i can handle things on my own...

gah! i told them i wanted to do.. and now its up to them to agree or not.. but i will never do things their way anymore.. if they dont agree i will find a way to make them agree..

but... i have one problem.. it is hard for me to talk to my parents... wht should i do??? =.=?

p/s: anyone wants to hire me as a kitchen helper??? ehehe! ^^

malaysian artist is no good nowadays..

am watching akedemi fantasia (AF) right now... so far the first one i've watch from the begining.. well sort of.. here is what i think about AF8 this season.. S.U.C.K! seriously.. the song is already short and easy. but yet their perfomance is just so so.. no i think it is lower than the so so standard... yes they are not profesional.. but if u are in this kind of performing industry you should take it seriously.. if you wanted a 15 minutes of fame u better dont be in it... i know that it's a reality show but they are a student in that academy.. dont you think so..

i think the malaysian entertainment industry is still raw.. still un exposed.. no wonder not many malaysian artist is known world wide.. they are not even well known in asia.. just malaysia..
okay i might sound bias right now but somehow i like the korean or japanese entertainment industry more.. if you compared them and the malaysian the difference are like "langit dan bumi"... they are that far apart.. and dont tell me the reason is that we malaysian is not up to that level yet..if you want to be at that level or higher you must ain to go there and work your ass out to be there...

you see if you want to be an entertainer/idol in korea you must be good in singing, dancing, acting, MC-ing, and know who to respond in a tv show... but malaysian? as long as you have the looks (pretty/handsome/cute a.k.a good looking people with a no-use-of-a-telent)you can already be and idol.. what the heck? where's the quality? malaysian artist newbie or professional to me they have the same thing in common.. they dont have any qualities in their works.. and they pretend more on screen and have no original identity.. everything is fake and a made up attitude/personality... basically they are so lame.. no wait whats the word?? oh yeah "MENGADA NGADA" okay now i am offcourse in what i wanted to say..

k.. now we're back to the main topic. AF.. yes now they suck! they can sing but the songs is like what adlin said "a karaoke type of songs".. there is no challenge.. i see that the critics gave they're opinion this and that.. what are they lack off and so and so.. i've been hearing the same comment... but somehow the students they just "masok telinga kanan keluar telinga kerek".. and the teachers somehow on the concert they go like *nods nods* then "yeah thats right.." but if they think so then why not be strict with the students to change and to teach them how it should be... like the first AF (now i like that.. where it was pure and honest)..ah i just do not know how to put my opinion on this... its just so hard to write it down in words.. so basicly to me this year AF is NO GOOD! try to change.. i think if they sing the full version of the song then they would take it seriously.. TOO easy makes people lazy.. esp young generation nowadays.. trust me.. i'm one of them.. ^^

well it is not like what i am saying here will be heard.. but what do i care eh? ahahahah!!

*mantak, byk eksen, too control, too preserve with their own.. have NO originality... and this actualy applied to all malaysian artist out there.. they have no originalty of their own identity.. they dont act like how they really are.. they just pretend to be themselves.. semua control.. semua eksen. kacak gilak kah? hebat gilak kah?? esp actor/actress.. adoh! very terok! i like theater actors/actresses more than the TV drama/movie type.. it is so.. "ugh!" there is no what you say good emotion.. basicly they just cant act.. it doesnt look real.. ofcourse it is not.. u're acting for God's sake! but u know u gotta be real if you wanna be good. enuff with the excessive make up already.. looks unatural to me and it makes the film/drama worst.. and try not to follow other tv soap/drama etc.. like i said there is no originaly and the natural-ness of IT (everything in the artist - singer, actor, actress and the direction of the movie.. the jalan cerita the songs nowadays.. everything that involves with the malaysian entertainment industries).. there are no new ideas.. no fresh out of te fridge ideas..suma mok ngekot org lain.. only some to me is good.. but not great.. but it is good... i think that malaysian artist should know about this.. and try to change.* - geh! then again who am i eh? ^^

my first of the year.

wow! i've just realise that i havent post any blogs this year.. ahahhah!!! well then let me share something about this first quater of the year...

i have done one major decision this year.. i quit my study in uni.. yeah!.. since i've just started.. and it is BORING! the classes is like WHAT??!!!~ and i was like WHAT?!~ most of the classes are basic class which obviously we have to study basic in art which i have done it when i was taking my diploma in interior design which i despise! yeah thats right! i hate the thought of studying design.. i like it but i hate it.. wierd? well thats me! ahahah!!

anyway, here is the list of reasons:

a) what i've told you just now.. in class we are studying the same basic thing in art which i have done it before... which is why it is boring to me. and get this i cant make a pengecualian credit.. or so i'v heard.. but if i do still i would have only three classes for this semester.. and that would be MAJOR boring for mua.

b) i am wasting my precious time... my class is like 'chipsmore'..
"sekejap ada sekejap sekda"..

c) i'm wasting money.. precious oh precious money.. every week i have to go out and buy drawing things for my art class.. and if i'm doing my photo asgnmt. (in my basic photo class) i would use more and more money.. considering that i have to rent a car.. go here and there would cost me alot of money! thank GOD i quit before it happens.. and i have to eat outside everytime.. like at the cafe or something.. and it cost more money to.. sekali makan 10 ringgit.. can u try and imagine if i ate 3 times a day and time it in a week how much have i spent just in that one week... and because of that i have to starve and just ate once a day.. which is not enough for me to regain my energy considering on how much i've lost in one day.. in the end i end up eating maggie for the night... which brings us to my next reason..

d) having a non-healthy diet.. the environment there is like very very tiring. why? that is because in shah alam the campus is 'berbukit bukau'.. though my faculty is just right in front of my hostel but i have to walk up hill and down hill to just reach there.. and every day i have to walk up and down twice.... which makes me loses energy fast and obviously i need to consume enough nutrients... which i can only consume once daily.. the rest of the day i would just eat biscuits/maggie which is not a healthy food for my 20++ body.. and in the end of the day i'm having migrain and such... then i would have to take my medicine.. which is bad very BAD for my body...

e) i HATE the photo student in uitm perak.. they think they are soo good! hah!kiss my fat ass! if you are good you do not need to show it off with your not so pretty face.. ur just a student for god sakes! not a pro! huh! they think that they are the IT people.. fuck of.. INGGA NYAWAKU! INGGA EH! INGGA! tauk ko the word INGGA!?! yah... just so that you're a photo student doesnt mean that you are a great person of something.. showing off your camera here and there. huh... even a 5 year old kid can take pictures... so why the show off? jeez.. yep. i hate student who just cant get along with other student from other department.. huh!

f) i actually want a long break before i started to continue my study again.. my diploma was a tough one.. though i hate it but at least it is fun studying it... and i have a full schedule of classes which makes me busy all the time.. and i like it... but then my parents was like just continue.. while you get the offer.. so i try but i didnt do whole heartedly coz i was some what like forced to do it.

e) now this is the one that makes me really DAMN lazy to study there.. my PTPTN is like 550 per semester.. what do they aspect me to live by? eating sands and stones and drinking tap water??? stupid. even my degree fees is like 680. but they give me 550? and the call it the 'kadar yuran'.. what the?! it cant even cover my fees let alone my living expenses for the whole semester.. apa kau pikir mak bapak aku tok cop duit kah? ada mesin polah duit kah kat rumah aku? paloi! yah..

kan dah sik pasal pasal aku nganok org kerajaan.. but what can i do.. it is FACTS! not fiction... FACTS!

there... ngerepak sudah saya tok.. dah lah... hahahah!! i'll post another about other things later! ^_^

how i spend my new year's eve.... ^_^

the year of 2009 has gone by just seconds ago.. and now the year 2010 has arrived..
this is how i spend my new year's eve...

i woke up at 8.30 and checked the dryer just to make sure my clothes are in it while it spins till they dry.. i went back to sleep then finally woke up at 9.30.. i checked again at the dryer but it hasnt finished yet.. so i gave my pet cat goo some food to it.. gonna miss that fella..

her cuteness while begging to go out from her cage and beg for food.. and her crazinees when no one actually pay any attention to her.. she looks like she's preggy.. but God knows. if she does then i will have kittens! yeay! ^^ how cute would that be! ohoho!!

then at 1o i onlined for i while.. checking my facebook and my mail.. to delete all the notification that facebook notified me in my mail.. then i took my morning shower and i get dressed up.. i re-checked the things that i've packed the day before.. and i double checked it too.. then i played on my guitar and on my sis keyboard for a while.. nothing much.. just practicing my fingers with the song canon in d major.. uhu!! ^^ not good though... but i have always wished that i could play a piano.. ngee!~ ^^ my dad arrived home..

as the clock ticks 11.15 i put my luggage in the car.. and then at 11.40 we're off to the airport at the same time picking up my eldest sister at her office.. as we arrived at the airport as usual we do the same rutine when at the airport.. checked in.. get some thing to eat.. then off to the depature hall.. upon arriving in the depature hall we get in line to get into the plane...

nothing much happen in the plane.. i read the novel by haruka murakami - dance dance dance.. while listening to my mp3.. we arrive to the desired destination. kuala lumpur.. not really excited being here though.. =_=" but nontheless here i am..

we got into a taxi... drop us at my cousin's place in kelana jaya.. in thirty minutes or so we are off to One Utama (OU)... suggested there coz its been long since i last set my foot there.. but was a bit dissappointed.. nothing much though.. maybe i was a bit drowsy at that time.. forced my self to eat nd finished up the food that i ate at Nando's... then we toured the shopping complex.. my little brother was very eager to search for toy's r us.. coz to him he would find that transformers action figure that he wanted there.. but was dissapointed later when he didnt found it there.. where as for me i end up asking my mum to by me two clothes from Nichii... on the way to the parking lot my prents bought 'roti boy'.. quite alot...

while walking we enjoyed the ice cream my dad bought for us at Mc'D.. and on our way there was this promotion at jaya jusco if i'm not mistaken.. there i saw this one old man.. he was like asking this and that to the sales person there.. he was asking somthing about the 'Dynamo' the clothes detergent..and bare in mind that this person is old like really.. he maybe at the age of 70 or so... a chinese old man.. he looks like he doesnt know how the world now is.. so innocent that if he cry i would to... i dont know what that has got anything to do with what i'm bout to tell you... so my mind was like playing this drama bit.. say the old man bought the dynamo.. then he happily got back home.. and told to his daughter 'bout it.. she could probably be his daughter in-law, who has a very succesful carreer and about to be off for the new year celebration with her husband.. and i imagined her saying things like.. "why are you wasting your time buying things that you dont need..and dont you think its a waste of money!" or something similiar to that.. but then my imagination broke off when i saw the old man didnt buy the dynamo instead.. and i thought 'a wise choice'...

okay enough of that.. so we continued our walk to the basement car park.. we use the staircasses instead of the lift.. apparently the lift is a bit slow and my dad just couldnt wait.. from there i felt that i was exhausted for the day.. the thought of being back to my cousin's place somehow seem rather pleasent.. but then.. my dad took a stop at the food arena called "showru" nearby my cousin's condominuim... i thought that we would wait in the car while my mum buy some drinks.. but my thought was wronged... we actually went there and drank drinks there insted of bring back home some.. *sighs* to make things short.. we arrived back at the condominuim.. boy was i glad... and guess what time it was.. it was 11.20pm.. theres more or less 40 minutes left.. was browsing throuh the tv chanels.. there was nothing interesting.. my mum and dad both took turn browsing the tv chanels then tired they off to bed.. then at that time it was 12.. and on the national tv there's this life countdown concert or some sort.. then they were counting down to the new year while i was browsing my facebook on the photos that i just upload last night.... the suddenly theres fire works sounds here and there,, it lasted for atleast 15 minutes i guess.. didnt look at the time.. and now here i am watching the kbs world chanel while writing my awful new year's eve day experience.. dull... i missed the most anticipated thing which i love the most about new year's celebration... which is the fire works.. sad.. so sad.. but what a girl gotta do when she's lonely on a new year's eve.. sighs...

thanks for reading my dreadful blog! ^^

i want just want to say hello.

i'm here... for such a long time... i just so many things and thoughts in my mind but i just cant get each and everything out.. i need someone to talked to.. someone who would actually listen to me and just nod.. and at the end of the day he/she would just forget everything..i have met some one like that.. but somehow we are not that close of a friend... there is also one person whom i can talked to but he's just so far away... i have the intention to call him but i dont know... something just pull me back... i miss him being around.. but now we are so far apart and we are not how we used to be like back then... *sighs*

i just found out that a friend of mind is dating my old classmate... which is wierd.. but whatever... i wish happiness for them.. and my other friend has dump her last boyfirend who had bad-mouthed her to her current boyfriend while the soon-to-be ex asked my friend to let the both of them alone.. confused? i'm sorry i'm not good with words... and my another friend is still happily having a relationship with her boyfriend...

i am also in a situation where i'm stuck in between with my other friends whom has problems with each others... (i'm just making it short coz its to complicated and i am just freaking tired of it) *sighs*

but that are other's problem which i'm not sure weather i am 100% involved or just partly or i'm not in any of it.. ???

what i'm really stressed out here is that i just cant stand being home...i know this sound like a school kid problems but it is still mine untill now.. when is it going to end? i am not sure.. i think untill i'm married. this does sounds like child-like problems.. but like i said.. i does happen to me.. ALL the time... all the time.. if you want to stop reading then go ahead.. STOP.. no one is stopping you... but if you take the desicion to go on and read.. then you are warned. ahah.. *sighs*...

kay.. i'm 20 right.. well 21 to be exact.. but somehow i am still being treated as if i am 15.. okay ... i have curfews.. that is to be back before midnight... when i was 17 it was 11.. but now that i'm 21 it's 10 or even earlier.. sometimes at 8 or 9 they (my parents) would already rings me up and would asked me where i am and when will i be back 'coz its almost midnight in a very VERY annoying tone...
they usually get mad when we talked to them with THE tone.. so i make myself to talk "tone-less"... but then when they talked with that tone with me.. its fine.. dont i supposed to be mad at that to.. if they have the right why dont i?? or am i not allowed to 'coz i'm the child? *whatever*
one more thing.. why cant i be out late at night.. dont they trust me.. they say they do but why dont they just let me go?? it's not that i'm out with some strange guy or some sort.. i just hung out with my friends who are girls.. all around.. not that i have anyproblems with them but why cant i?? it's not like i'm out with some delinquents kids whom i just randomly approach.. not like i go out to some club and go drink till i'm drop dead drunk... no i did not do ny of this.. at all.. it is not even in my to do list. but if they just leave me alone out with my friends i know when to be back...and usually i will be back before midnight..around 10 or 11 and sometimes earlier.... and if i'm late its just abit later that 12 or 1 am.. still i will be back.. no harm.. so what i hang around at some cafe further away from home.. i know its dangerous to be out late at night.. but i can take care of myself.. i'm not atlking big here... and its not like i want it to happen... but just saying that "you're 21 year old daughter KNOWS how to take care of herself already!"...... *sighs* but then again.. who am i to hve a say in this anyway... no one actually listen to me.. especially the people in this house.

i so cant wait to move out.. dont get me wrong.. its not that i hate staying here or be home.. its just that i cant live this kinda life anymore... i need my own space.. i want my own rules.. cant i?? i just like to be alone.. having people around is GREAT! but not all the time.. it makes me uncomfortable... i want to hve my room atleast... i wnt PRIVACY! i dont want people just barge in my room as if no one is there... the ironing board is in my room.. so it is so obvious that if people want to do some ironing they would be in my room... so technically all the clothes that needs ironing will automatically in my room in basketS. and some will be hang in that room to.. what's worst is that i practically SHARE my rom with my sister.. it's not that there's something wrong with her its just that the sharing part makes the word privacy has no meaning to it.... i have things to keep.. things that i DONT want to let people look or see or touch or even worst SHARE!... i'm private kind of person.. so sometimes what i do is none of your business... not sometimes.. it's all the time... but then again who am i to say anything about this?? *sighs*

i so want to move out.. and to have a place of my own with my own life to live..alone.. with my own rules.. its not that i hate being around with people.. i so LOVE being with the people that i love.. my families and my friends and foes (if i have any).. but sometime you just want to be away from it all to be with it again sooner of later....

*sighs* it is so hard to tell all this here... coz i do not know how to explain cyber-ly... i know some people out there are having tougher time with their life compared to mine.. but hey.i have a right to voice out my difficulties though it sounds like i'm a fifteen year-old who just knew how to blog..

just to make it short.. i'm dpressed being at home in THIS kind of situations. =.=

i'm lost...

me here... so long since my last post.. ngeee~
tomorrow is my bus to perak... at 3.. watching honey and clover while doing my CAD drawing... in between that forcing myself searching for good ideas somewhere in my brain and mind and soul... *sighs* what have got into me that makes it hard for me to actually came up with ideas for my designs. i may not be good in that subject but usually i could just came up with lots and lots of ideas which can be used.. but now.. my mind is just like a blank piece of paper that will never be written on.. i dont think that i pick a complicated project.. i have ideas before.. but where did they go?? if i say they got lost somewhere from the INCIDENT that would be just an excuse.. or is it?? i cant think straight from then on thats for sure.. i need time to focus and gain my self-conciousness.. but i'm out of time.. if i get the time that i need i would have to extend my studies and i dont want it to happen.. i just want to finnish this diploma as soon as possible.. but my design... that is my only problems.. other subject i can score easily. i only have three papers for my examination this year.. so no worries. my design subject is a burden.. i'm not having any fun doing it at all this time.. which is SO NOT ME!
tasukete yo...