one reason why.....

one reason why i dislike to stay home is that i'm tired of being treated as if i'm still a fifteen years old...

why? because i'm 20 for GOD sakes! and turning to 21.. whats up with the "kiddies treatments" dude?!? i still have curfews.. while my other freinds doesnt.. i know they are worried that i'm out late at night... something might happen and it is not safe out there.. but.... i know how to handle myself out there... i know where to go and when it is safe... but as usual they treat me as if i do not know how to take care of myself...

well if they want to show their worries and concen they dont really have to be mad at me! they dont have to yell and talk with "the tone"... i hate the tone... as if i did something very very VERY WRONG... like for example i had an accident or almost.. (EXAMPLE only!) they would be mad as if they never had the experience.. but when it is their fault they would just kept it quiet like nothing had happen.. but if it is me.. they would blab blab blab and more bab until you just cant stand it anymore and just listen while your ears reddden....humph.. you want to be angry with them you cant.. in resut you would argue with them which i hate most... i cant stand the blabbering either... i cant tell them the truth/ just simply talk to them about it coz they would blab it to my other family members.. who would tell others too... gfhdlvmzfmrnuhk!!!!!!

sometime i wish that i woud just move out from this home as soon as possible... the longer i stay here the more worst it gets... i'm tired.. seriously.. i dont hate.. just damn tired with the kiddies treatment... i know i'm still their daughter.. but there are times that i dont really need them to call me 24/7 just to check up on me... i know when i should be back home... so what i'm 30 minutes late... i cant just be home at 11 sharp.. i went out at 8.. when you're with friends 1 o 2 hours is not enough... why? because you dont see them everyday!!! you would want to know your friends latest news and so on.. whats going on.. and such... and 2 hours just not enough... for me.. maybe we crap most of the time.. so wee need more time to catch up with each other...

ah! what the heck. its not that my problem would solve here.. well atleast my anger are now almost gone....

heee... =3

curiousity....

"you love her not because she's beautiful, she's beautiful because you love her." - m. dwi andhika in me vs highe heels.

is it true?? is there any guy would actually agree with this?? would he agree?? how do guys see in us girls anyway?? curiousity kills the cat.. everywhere i go all i see is guys looking for a beautiful hot girls.. but there are some guys who just go for girls that is not that good looking.. hmmm maybe she's rich.. coz mainly its like that when it comes to this case... i do not know... coz somehow they said that it is LOVE..and that love is blind.. or is it us that are blinded by love?? hmmmm....

apakah kebenaran pada ayat itu?..
what is the truth behind those words?

my old writtings..

none..

as she walk on byshe saw nothing but the sky
try to figure out why
she just cant do anything but sigh..
she walk and walk and keep on walking untill the light are out in the sky
the street was dark as the night go on by
she come to a solution at the corner of the winding road...

she ran as fast as she could
she screamed as loud as she can
but there's still no one can hear her
she 's now at the end of road
with only one solution in her hand.

as morning came by
the one that loved her most found her lying by roads
he cry and screamed and cry some more
of the guilt that has been playing with him for so long..
her body was pale as she swam the pool of blood the night before...

one of shakespears sonnets.

When thou shalt be disposed to set me light,
And place my merit in the eye of scorn,
Upon thy side against myself I'll fight,
And prove thee virtuous, though thou art forsworn.
With mine own weakness being best acquainted,
Upon thy part I can set down a story Of faults conceal'd,
wherein I am attainted,
That thou in losing me shalt win much glory:
And I by this will be a gainer too;
For bending all my loving thoughts on thee,
The injuries that to myself I do,
Doing thee vantage, double-vantage me.
Such is my love,
to thee I so belong,
That for thy right myself will bear all wrong.

drake bell

i like him from the moment i saw him in the amanda show..being the stupid rock cool dude..hee..
he's a cool guitarist, pianist and an actor..
even though i've seen and heard alot of good musicians plays with their nice guitars somehow he was the one that make me think that i should actually learn how to play one after the loooonngg ooohh and ahh-ing days of mine drooling over guitars and guitarist....
so i did and now i can play some songs.. but i'm not that good.. i'm still trying though..still learning.. those far reached chords with my not-so-long fingers... hee! =)
now back to the main topic..
drake bell... how i wish there's actually a guy like him.. almost..here in my home town. if there is one like him they would be over-the-head of themselves even if they dont they would either be too old for me or just too far fetched... haiya.. hahahah!!

well... another stupid blog from me.. hihi!!

p/s: i just love drake bell he's my insparation and motivation to play my guitar (sounds corny.. ahah!!)..his music rocks! and + he is hot! aha!! =D
*droollss* hee =)

just for JAI

as i arrived i was wondering about you for awhile
where are you now..
no one seems to know anything about you and your whereabouts.
then the day arrived when i was destine to met you..
i was in a midst of talking when i lift up my head and i saw you...
i was silenced by you.
somehow at that very moment i froze for awhile while staring at you..
you stared at me as if you know me from somewhere
and so do i...
i remember you..
we went to the same school once..
you were my senior and i was your junior...
your look are exactly the same
only your hairstyle are much more better.. hee =)
your looks, your gesture, your walk..
everything about you remains the same..
even the effect on me every time i saw you is still the same..
the ga..ga.. me when i saw you...
everytime i met you
you will stare at me..
i so will i to you..
but somehow i would be speachless...
every single time..
i wanted to greet you..
i wanted to introduced myself to you and would wanted us to be friends..
but somehow the word just gone with the wind..
when ever i saw you or think of you..
theres this heat in me of wanting you so badly
that i would do anything just to have you to be just mine..
and theres also this urge of wanting to see you again
and finally have those lost word coming back to my mouth again..
so that i could say it to you...
i wish i have another chance to meet you again..
and i promise i'll try to walk up to you and say hi
or it would be the last... (i hope not.. hee =D)

singapore.

as i reached singapore the first thing i noticed was the landscape..
it was nice and very well planed.. same goes to the town planning... theres pedestrian walks for the people.. everywhere.. the public transportation are in order..
as i walk the street of ochard road the people are mostly tourists... but just that one night i've listen alot of languages.. french, japanese, chinese, arabic, korean.... you name it.. i heard all of it... some i dont even know what language it was.. so then i conclude that all of the people all over the world are in singapore.. so far i see that singapore is a very safe place to live one..
this is my second trip actually.. the first time i cant remember anything.. now maybe that i'm older and sort of wiser i observe the environment that singapore brings.. it is nice.. though it's a bit crowded with people... but i can live with it.. compare to KL... i dont think i can stay there for a living... for holidays yes but not live there.. i would suffocate.. heh!
okay.. back to the topic.. i like how the people dont really care what you're wearing or who you are... and the sales person in the shops are good at their jobs..everyone does... they try to serve and give you good services in their job.... they try their very best to treat you... een when they wasn't you can see it in their eyes that they're doing their best in their work when they were serving the others.. but somehow some people just doesnt see it.. it kind of reminded me of people in japan.. though i've never been there.. but i guess singapore is as good as it gets.. hmm.. i think?? ahahha!!
the sceneries the landscape are nice... i just cant help myself to adore it.. and i do meant what i said..
the taxi drivers are friendly.. they know how to intertained their passangers... but just the driving that made me feel nauseous for a while... hee...
oh well... its just me.. i love travelling.. but i prefer more of sightseeing than shopping.. hee.. =)
i dont know what you think of singapore but this is what i think... hee.. =)