what happens when my brain thinks too much.. ^_^

the reason for my blog this this time at this hour [5.10 a.m] is because that i couldn't sleep.. at all.. i've been having insomnia this past few days.. and what causes this to happen? it was simply because i was thinking of too many things in my life lately.. 

maybe it is because the thought of someone my age or even younger can be successful in what they love to do makes me anxious to just sit and do nothing.. [nothing = to just enjoy my time before i went on a job hunt -which in my case i was recently eager to work in a restaurant-based field] <-- that was when i decided before i have all this thoughts.. 

i think my problem is that i'm the type of person you just cant rushed to make a decision.. especially when it involved my future and me in it.. i have conclude that:

• i am the kind of person who just love working.. no matter what kind of work it is.. i just realised this now.. this is because the thought of me doing some works that need to be submitted to someone that is important [or so] makes me excited.. some how.. heheheh..[except for house work. hahahah!! maybe because i'm living with my parents.. huhuhuuu~ ^^]
• i hate studying! especially when i am being forced too.. like school and such.. its like i have to study not because i want to its because i have to.. but studying on my own will i like.. its because i want to.. get the point?

so what i wanna say is that me hating interior designing is not true.. NOT TRUE! i somewhat like it.. heck its like what i have been thinking about my whole life.. now that i realised it.. everywhere i go all i think about is design.. of course when i was a kid i didn't know what was i thinking... but DESIGN is the only thing that i thought about alot... so i've decided to just work in an interior design firm for a few years.. to gain my knowledge and what not.. in the same time i could study about business and restaurants/culinary by myself.. there's alot of self study books sells out there in the world.. so since i am a smart kid i know i can juggle all this together in a few years preparing myself  for my future which is what i really want to do in life.. which is:

• to open a coffee house.. >w
• to manage an interior design firm.. with my friends as a partner of course! 
• maybe, open a boutique shop. with the style that i like.. hihi..
• and last TRAVELLING!!!! 

wish me all the best! and success in my future! i know i will work my ass up for it! hohOHOHO!

this is all thanks to me being on my so-called holiday i guess.. my head was too wrapped up with me avoiding to continue my studies in interior design which my parents keep on insisting me.. and taking a wrong turn here and there.. and i was being rushed to make decisions right after whatever that's happening to me that it makes me or my head to be exact be in a very complicated situations that i cant think things clearly.. like i said before  i am the type of person who cant be rushed to make a decisions.. i think too much.. and i cant avoid that habit of mine.. i think about things too much and into every details that i cant make such decision in such short short time.. forgive me... but that is just the habit that i myself cant throw it away.. its how i am.. i cant change that part of me.. so here i hope that whoever involves in this understands me now..now that i understands myself a bit more.... 

i guess my parents will be like "i thought that you hate id.. blah blah blah.." and so on.. but what can i do.. i was being pushed and rushed.. i can think well.. *sighs* 

now that this is out of my chest.. i could go on a job hunting easily..[ not that getting a job is easy.. heheh.. i mean my mind here is at ease.. :)]  no wonder i was having this feeling of "teragak agak" when i was just browsing through the jobs section in the papers.. i was considering about everything... i was making too many excuses to avoid me applying for jobs as a kitchen helper...heheheh.. :) 

i guess all i need was just a break from everything and i do mean EVERYTHING for a while just to get my head straight..  ^w^

sumthing short..

i'm on my way finishing the manga "SPECIAL A" by maki minami. i've watch the anime like 2 years ago or so.. and i've just started reading the manga last week... because before this i was to damn lazy to indulge myself in a 99 + 1 chapters of the manga.. kekekeke! ^_^ anyway why i like maki minami's work? coz the drawings are so hilarious. the funny ones ofcourse.. and the guys are just so damn HOT! *drooling* + daydreaming here! the stupid idotic scenes just makes me crack! here's one of the funny looking but cute drawing of minami maki : hikari's dumb struck face.

and more of this cute dummy looking drawings in maki's manga.. huhuhuh! you just gotta read to search for it.. ^_^

future planning!

okay... i know.. "what's up with the coffee picture?" right?.. well the thing is my dream is to open a COFFEE HOUSE.. aint that superb! heheheh!! to me it is! i wanted to open ones like bing!, coffee bean, starbucks and such! sound kinda far fetch? well people say "you dream hard work hard and you'll achieve it!" well that's what I say.. ahahaha!! never mind.. but that is not my one and only.. i have many things to do.. i wanna open restaurants & cafes of all kinds! and probably an id firm. well hey atleast my diploma has a use in my life anyway.. hihihi!! ^_^ but to go that far i need a supports from everyone.. and i do mean EVERYONE!... for now i may have my friends support.. but i still dont get my family full support.. which is the most important support that i need... yes i know i dont have that culinary skills but i can pay people! ahah! hahahah!! i can cook but i dont have the skills... but whatever it is i think that i'm going to be in the business life people! yeah! you guys out there just wait and see me POP! hehehe!!! wish me luck! ^_^

korean guys i love! ^v^

guess what?? i just found new cute guy for me to drool at it's mir from mblaq.. he's cute!~ ohoh!! oh i never say this before but i love korean idols! wuhoo!! they are so damn cute, hot, fine.. you name it! ahaha!! so here's a list of them that i like! kyaa!~ ^^ (just thinking 'bout it makes my heart beats fast! ;)

Jang Geun Suk

Kim Young Woon a.k.a Kangin

Kwon Ji Yong a.k.a G-Dragon

Lee Seung Gi

Kim Jun Su a.k.a Xiah Junsu

Lee Hong Ki

Kim Tae Pyeong a.k.a Hyun Bin

Gong Ji Cheol a.k.a Gong yoo

Kim Jong Hyun

Lee Min Ho

Bang Chul Yong a.k.a Mir

the list doesn't end here.. there's so many of them.. this are among the ones that i like most..and they have one thing in common : their smile! oh i just fall for that smile... ^v^ eheheh!! some are actors and some are singers.. and most of them can do both! ngeee! (^_____^) for those who cant see how i'm reacting to this post let me tell you i am literally grinning from ear to ear.. just by browsing their pictures in the net is enough to make me happy! (for the time being ofcourse! ahaha!! ^^) aaaaaahhh!~ *droolsss*

dhilah! happy birthday!!!!! ^_^

IT'S YOU!

you were born on this day

thank you for still being alive

thank you for still staying friends

though you know that i'm annoying! ahah!!

you are one of my dearly beloved friends

whom i know the longest..14 YEAR

that is how long we have been friends

hope that we will still forever will be

BEST FRIENDS untill the day we die

you know i LOVE you

no matter how busy a woman you are..

heheheh! and lastly :

HAPPY BRITHDAY!!!!!!

^v^

LOVE:

MIZAH

p/s: sorry if this sucks! ahahah!! i dont know what to say actually and i didnt forget it this year yeah!! hihihi!.. ada agik~ anyway love ya! and miss ya! ^^ muah muah! ^3^

small giant.

i watched this drama this evening.. i think it was called "small giant".. a korean drama.. at kbs world the programe is called drama city..

the story is about a guy who is 26 years old but stuck in a body of a ten year old.. he fell in love with a girl while he was ten.. but then the girl moved because of family problem.. somehow the father is running away from some debt or some sort.. back to the guy.. he was the owner of a bakery shop. everyone who doesnt know about him will obviouslt thinks that he is  ten year old.. even when he went to have a drink (soju) an old man scold him.. but instead of letting his buddy have a huge argument with the old man he appologise instead and said that he wont drink again.. kind of sad.. he met his first love.. she was a kindergarten teacher. and he still have a feeling for her.. and on the other hand.. he has a grilfriend.. sort of..  a girl.. more or less than a ten year old.. his first love does love him but in the mean time she is tricking him.. in order to get his money ( he is somewhat rich i supposed..) the girl lied to him that her family (where at that moment was her uncle & cousin) is in trouble with their business and in order to make sucess is that they need money.. at this moment the guy already knew the girl's bad intention.  how? on the day after the girl ask for his hand in marrige and at that day that he told the girl that he was getting a hormon injection (coz he wants to feel the hapiness like ither 26 year old guys) and also on the day they almost make-out with each other the guy caught the girl with her cousin discussing on when will she get his money.. and then to make the story short the guy gave her his money though he knew her plan.. but in the end the girl gave up after she knew that the guy knew what she was doing to him.... she told her cousin what they did was wrong and intended to give back the money.. but her cousin was furious about her decision and end up beating her to almost-death with his golf club... and the guy was so depressed that he drove his friend's car and crash to a lamp post or was it and electric pole? i dont remember.. then 3 years passed.. the guy is still the same.. succeeding his bakery shop while when he saw his first love selling things at the market he ran to her and sing some church song to her while she was trying to avoid him.. the girl hurt her leg.. it ws broken i think... she gave up when she heard the guy sings and in the end they faced each other and cried..

actually the point of me writting this is to praise the kid who act as the guy.. OMG! he is like a professional actor.. can you imagine a kid maybe a ten or eleven or so act as a 26 year old and nailed it...i tell you it is very convincing.. he does look the part.... he seemed mature.. you just gotta see it.. i think he will be a good actor in no time.. ^_^

i'm a person with loads of interest.

i cant sleep...

i thought that when i've done my decision on what i want to do a.k.a my future planning i would be more at ease... but my thought was wrong.

i told my mum that i wanted to work as a kitchen helper (full time for now.. and part time when i'm studying later) and further my study in business management. because my aim or my goal is to open a restaurant.. a coffee house to be exact... and if my luck is good and everything goes well i could open an interior design firm.. well atleast that my diploma wont go to waste..but she just like why?  =_="

they keep on pushing me to work in and ID firm and what not.. or me being a teacher since they say that i was so into teaching.. which i'm not.. i like teaching.. but i'm not really serious in that.. it was just a 'the moment kind of thing.. i'm a person with many interest for God sakes.. so it is not easy for me to decide things especially when i'm being pushed to make one. damn!

i have been telling them (everyone that i know of) that i will WILL someday open a coffee shop.. but what did my parents say? they just like take it lightly and as usual take it as if i was joking.. like i always joke around? i dont know why.. no matter how serious i am with them they still takes me jokingly.. they never consider my need and wants seriously...

*sighs* i'm depress some how.. i dont know why.. my dd keep pushing me to apply jobs online.. jobs like as in me working in an office/co. i have been telling them that i dont want that kind of jobs.. let alone me working in an interior design firm.. i hate interior design.. dont get me wrong..i like to design but to work as a designer? no thanks!

what is wrong with working as  kitchen helper anyway? its not like i'm working as a begger... 

i dont know.. my mind is in a knot. i cant think straight.. keep on having migrains which i hate.. i just dont know what else i should do..

i know they are worried untill they are looking for jobs for me through their connection but that is not what i wanted.. i dont want that one day when everything goes wrong by the end of the day i go and blame them for everything... and its their fault that i'm going through things... i dont want them to make the desicion for me... its MY future.. MY life.. let me make that decision for MYself! and let me blame it on my own for my mistake.. all i need is that they support me in no matter what i do in my life.. NOT supporting me by doing things for me... if i need their help i will ask for if.. and if i dont then that means that i can handle things on my own...

gah! i told them i wanted to do.. and now its up to them to agree or not.. but i will never do things their way anymore.. if they dont agree i will find a way to make them agree..

but... i have one problem.. it is hard for me to talk to my parents... wht should i do??? =.=?

p/s: anyone wants to hire me as a kitchen helper??? ehehe! ^^